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Ten Sexy Things to Do During Half-Time

Game 2 of the NBA Finals jumps off at 8:00pm tonight. As with all basketball games, the Thursday night's bout will have a customary 15-minute intermission. Instead of picking up the Xbox or making a beer run, be adventurous and try something from my list of Ten Sexy Things to Do During Half-Time. I guarantee (though you won't receive money back in the unlikely even that you're dissatisfied) you'll kick your boys to the curb and engage in more unisex game-watching. Now enough stalling ladies and gentle; let the games begin!!

Ten Sexy Things to Do During Half-Time

1. Play Twister: Come on, this is the sexiest 'innocent' game to ever hit the market! All that twisting, bending and intertwining can make for some good fore[after-the-game-is-over]play.
2. Indulge in a Face-Painting Remix. Take turns being Picasso and find different parts of each other's body to artfully display your team allegiance.
3. Play Dress-Up. Ask her to model your fav sports team paraphernalia wearing nothing but team spirit.
4. Play Trivia Strip. Test her sports retention by asking 10 questions relating to the first half of the game. If you're lucky she'll be 0 in 10!
5. Have a Smooch-Off. See if you can kiss for the entire 15 minutes without coming up for air. If you don't make it, record your time and try to beat it during the intermission of the next sporting event.
6. Play Truth or Dare. Since no one ever opts to tell the truth, 15 minutes is long enough to dare her to do something memorable.
7. Re-Enact the Juicy Food Scene from 9 1/2 Weeks and/or Have a Food Fight. Get re-acquainted or introduced (link below)to the combustible 9 1/2 Weeks scene with Alec Baldwin's BabyMama and Mickey Rourke. Then pull out your video phone and re-create the super hot vignette with your own spice. Throw in a good food fight and the temperature will surely start to rise. You'll never look at a bag of Doritos the same way again.
8. Play a Lil' Woman on Man D. You post her up, she hands checks you, but alter the rules. On the court they play keep away, but in your game you want her to get the ball.
9. Have Sex. You thunk it, I said it. According to the Journal of Sexual Medicine, the optimal length of time for sexual intercourse is 3 to 13 minutes. So even if you go to distance, you'll still have two minutes left to replenish game snacks.
10. Create Your Own List. Hopefully you've been inspired to draft your own tantalizing half-time antics. Play yo game right and you'll become a first-ballot Hall of Famer!

See, what did I tell ya? Smoking!! Most of the suggested activities are intended to be sampled during half-time, but just like a good P90X move you can modify and also engage in the fun during timeouts.

This is a group effort, so if you employ #10 on the list before, during or after the first NBA Finals Game, don't be stingy! Share with the people so we can all bring sexy back to our game-watching experiences!

Enjoy the game...and Love Responsibly!

Watch the Sexy Food Scene from 9 1/2 Weeks
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7exc8b4nzOo&feature=player_embedded##

Bring Sexy Back to Sports!

Tracee Loran's Big Mouth: Bring Sexy Back to Sports!

SEXTing in the City

As you’ve probably noticed, sexting has been getting a lot of press lately; it’s become the new darling of the media. The X-rated SMS leap to glory can be greatly attributed to recent scandalous tabloid gossip. Unless you’ve been sleeping under a rock or in love (which in some cases is synonymous) you’ve heard about the über famous pro golfer and the husband of a recent Oscar-winning actress whose illicit affairs were exposed via steamy sext messages. (I know you know who they are, but it seems so much more mysterious to omit their names even though their pictures are plastered on this page. Don't front like you don't see 'em.)

All of this blatant disregard for loyalty and discretion got me to wondering, are TW & JJ that stupid or is sexting really that good? So I decided to take a lil' poll and find out for myself. In the process I did a little, ahem, sextn too. You know what I discovered? It really is that good and um…sexy. Sexting is definitely the new black; it makes phone sex seem so yesterday like high top fades and Cross Colors.

In my (not so) humble opinion sexting is great for the soul, the libido and the relationship. But like the Notorious B.I.G’s bible for hustlers, there are some rules to the sexting game.

So without further adieu here are my Ten Sext Commandments:

10.
DON’T use huge S.A.T words. You may have scored a perfect 2,400, but assume that your sext partner did not. By the time (s)he stops to Google the word, the thrill will be gone. Exhibit A: “I luv the way the lite candescently illuminates on ur lithe mammary glands. Thinkn ‘bout ‘em shoots incendiary pulses thru my corporeal being.” Riiight!

9.
DO grammar/spell check. Ok so you don’t have to get all English-teacher crazy. But one incorrect letter can change the entire meaning. Exhibit B: There’s a difference between “What r u wearing?” and “What r u hearing?” The first question is oh so sexy, the second is oh so NOT!

8.
DO avoid using cliché text acronyms; “LOL,” LMAO and “ROFL” is neither appropriate nor alluring. Exhibit C: “U r so hot! Last nite was intense. Can’t w8 2 c u again. LMAO!” Um, I think you get the point, right?

7.
DON’T sext and drive. The apex of excitement could prove to be fatal…if you catch my drift. (Hmm, I must tell Oprah to add that to her “No Phone Zone” pledge.)

6.
DON’T leave your sext’ages exposed; treat ‘em like your sacred stash of Playboy(girl) magazines. Old Heff would be proud, but Grandma might have a heart attack to find out that her grandbaby has the mind of Jenna Jamison.

5.
DO add some extra spice by including a few mildly tantalizing pix. But rule # 6 still applies unless you really want to put Grandma six feet under!

4.
DO get high on your own supply (sorry Biggie). Yes, LOVE your sext’ages; relish them, feeeel the heat that you’re emitting. The more you enjoy it…well you get the picture.

3.
DON’T sext anyone other than your spouse if you’re married. But if you momentarily lose your mind and engage in scandal DO invest in the new Tigertext app!

2.
DO sext while on a date. But make sure it’s the date currently sitting across the table from you and not the date who was seated next to you Friday night.

1.
This is the parent to rule # 2. Before you hit “send” DO make sure you have the intended target or else, “Lucy you got some ‘splainin’ to do!”

Well, those are my sext message rules and regulations to woo by. As brilliant as I think I am, I’m not the only sext-pert. Hit me with your personal commandments, so we can make the world over one sext at a time! Until we meet again…Love Responsibly!

Bring Sexy Back to Sports: The NBA Finals Edition!

Disclaimer! I'm fully aware of the fact that the following words may raise the ire of my fellow die-hard sports fanatical sisters. Like me, I'm sure you can stand toe-to-toe with you male counterparts. Consequently, you despise being grouped with the girlie girls who don't know a quarterback from a Quarter Pounder. Trust me, I get it. But, my experience and statistics show that the country is filled with women who abhor sports. These player-haters often nag and harass their men during game-time, thus, ruining perfectly dramatic buzzer-beaters. This blog is mostly for them...and the dudes who dare to love them. Having said that; if you read above, between and below the lines you'll find that there's a lil' sumthin' sumthin for everyone. So if you care to add some sizzle to your sports-lovingness, read on...

What's better than a hot chick? A hot chick who knows a sack isn't just a euphemism for bed or that a touchback doesn't refer to his hands on your booty! Ladies, becoming a sports fan is definitely sexy and has its advantages, even for the fair-weathered supporters. You know what they say, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em for two halves, four quarters or nine innings!"

Fellas, roll out the Astro Turf and invite your girl to watch a game with you. Yep, it's definitely sexy and has its advantages even if she's a neophyte or completely clueless. At first the game-time company may seem intrusive especially if she bombards you with a bunch of dumb questions. However, the joint viewing experience can be smoking!

Right now you're probably not connecting the dots, but by Thursday night it will all make sense. For basketball enthusiasts, that's the day that NBA Finals jump off. And it's the official beginning of the end. As with all basketball games, the Thursday night's bout will have a customary 15-minute intermission. Instead of picking up the Xbox or making a beer run, be adventurous and try something from my list of Ten Sexy Things to Do During Half-Time. I guarantee (though you won't receive money back in the unlikely even that you're dissatisfied) you'll kick your boys to the curb and engage in more unisex game-watching. Now enough stalling ladies and gentle; let the games begin!!

Ten Sexy Things to Do During Half-Time

1. Play Twister: Come on, this is the sexiest 'innocent' game to ever hit the market! All that twisting, bending and intertwining can make for some good fore[after-the-game-is-over]play.
2. Indulge in a Face-Painting Remix. Take turns being Picasso and find different parts of each other's body to artfully display your team allegiance.
3. Play Dress-Up. Ask her to model your fav sports team paraphernalia wearing nothing but team spirit.
4. Play Trivia Strip. Test her sports retention by asking 10 questions relating to the first half of the game. If you're lucky she'll be 0 in 10!
5. Have a Smooch-Off. See if you can kiss for the entire 15 minutes without coming up for air. If you don't make it, record your time and try to beat it during the intermission of the next sporting event.
6. Play Truth or Dare. Since no one ever opts to tell the truth, 15 minutes is long enough to dare her to do something memorable.
7. Re-Enact the Juicy Food Scene from 9 1/2 Weeks and/or Have a Food Fight. Get re-acquainted or introduced (link below)to the combustible 9 1/2 Weeks scene with Alec Baldwin's BabyMama and Mickey Rourke. Then pull out your video phone and re-create the super hot vignette with your own spice. Throw in a good food fight and the temperature will surely start to rise. You'll never look at a bag of Doritos the same way again.
8. Play a Lil' Woman on Man D. You post her up, she hands checks you, but alter the rules. On the court they play keep away, but in your game you want her to get the ball.
9. Have Sex. You thunk it, I said it. According to the Journal of Sexual Medicine, the optimal length of time for sexual intercourse is 3 to 13 minutes. So even if you go to distance, you'll still have two minutes left to replenish game snacks.
10. Create Your Own List. Hopefully you've been inspired to draft your own tantalizing half-time antics. Play yo game right and you'll become a first-ballot Hall of Famer!

See, what did I tell ya? Smoking!! Most of the suggested activities are intended to be sampled during half-time, but just like a good P90X move you can modify and also engage in the fun during timeouts.

This is a group effort, so if you employ #10 on the list before, during or after the first NBA Finals Game, don't be stingy! Share with the people so we can all bring sexy back to our game-watching experiences!

Enjoy the game...and Love Responsibly!

Watch the Sexy Food Scene from 9 1/2 Weeks
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7exc8b4nzOo&feature=player_embedded##